Your Guide, Not Guru.
For over a decade, I've been on two life-changing journeys that now form the foundation of everything this newsletter is about.
First, transforming my physical health.
I grew up an active kid but I was always on the heavier side of things. In a culture where male beauty standards demanded lean bodies, the constant shame was crushing. But what bothered me more was how my own body got in my way—I moved slower, jumped lower, and tired myself out faster than I wanted to.
The breaking point came in late 2015. The scale read over 100 kilos (220 lbs), and something clicked.
I lost 14 kilos (or nearly 31 lbs) in 6 weeks, eating only a 1000 calories a day. Chicken breast, soup, and low-fat milk for lunch and dinner. It was brutal, and as I'd later discover, misguided. I had sacrificed precious muscle alongside the fat.
To reverse the damage, I turned to resistance training. What started as damage control evolved into an 11-year love affair with lifting. I’ve showered it with time, effort, and affection. I’ve invested more time on it than with friends or family. And I’ve spent more time understanding its nuances than few other things over the past 11 years.
Today, I'm in a new chapter; focusing on form that embodies function, building a body resistant to chronic disease, and developing strength that will serve me for decades. This is the message I'm passionate about spreading.
I write about physical health to distill my thoughts on the subject. To help you build your “Strong Body.” To make sure you don’t make the mistakes I did. And to witness you sculpt yourself into the version of yourself you were meant to be.
Second, rebuilding my mental and emotional landscape.
My mental and emotional health journey started nearly ten years ago. Moderate depression that crippled my general happiness and well-being. It didn’t just wear me down, but also chipped away at my relationships with family, friends, and my then-girlfriend.
Anger was always my reflex response to sadness or pain. Even being conscious of this couldn't stop the regress into all-consuming rage. But what was often left in the aftermath was regret and guil that I didn’t stop myself from hurting those around me.
I was in a vicious cycle:
- I was sad and in pain;
- I’d cover that sadness up with anger;
- I’d feel regret and guilt about taking anger out on those closest to me;
- I’d get sad about still being sad and in pain and hurting others close to me;
- More anger to mask it all;
- And on it went . . .
I read countless articles and books about addressing anger, but ended up often suppressing that anger — and the underlying sadness and pain — instead of understanding it.
You're not alone. Many of us learn to suppress our emotions from a young age — from others for fear of who might invalidate them, and from ourselves because we don’t feel worthy to feel the way we feel. But suppressed emotions are like air pumped into a balloon; eventually, something has to give.
My breakthrough arrived through therapy, but therapy was merely a tool by which I learned to heal that underlying pain, sadness, and love myself more than I ever had before. And I believe everyone can access healing through loving even the deepest, darkest, and the most seemingly unlovable parts of themselves. I've spent the past few years developing the capacity to love, heal, and grow. I am living proof that you too can build that "steady mind."
Your Guide, Not Guru
I write this newsletter because I want you to feel like you're not crazy for feeling the way you feel, and struggling the way you do. I write to give you hope that a strong body and steady mind is not only possible, but accessible to all.
I'm not perfect, but my story is proof that a strong body and steady mind is not born, but are built — through consistent effort and the identifying the right approaches. This newsletter exists to share practical tools for all you high-performers to develop physical and mental resilience navigating life.
Join me in building something that lasts — a foundation for a fulfilled life.